Looking for a Mennonite-themed cocktail and can’t be bothered to wade through the Drunken Menno blog? Some of the links here lead to  my old site. I may someday get around to transferring it all over here. No promises, though.

The Cocktails.

The #6ix-oh-6ix – don’t mess with 606.

Above Reproach – yup, a cocktail that’s better than any of us

Admonish – a cocktail to drink while rethinking your priorities

All My Puny Sorrels – a summer cocktail for the Russian Menno diaspora

The Ältester – a cocktail with authority

The Anabaptist – a timeless cocktail that reaches back to our 16th-century roots

The Anneke Jans – in honour of a favorite Anabaptist Martyr mother

The Assimilationist – a cocktail for Mennonite trekkies struggling with their own cultural assimilation

Baker’s Therapy – you need this after an Advent season of unceasing baking

The Bananabapdad – honouring Menno dads subverting patriarchy one cocktail at a time

Benign Violation – it’s funny, but not so funny that it hurts.

The Bitter Diantche – in celebration of the poetry of Di Brandt

The Bloody Martyr – for those of us with a taste for martyrdom

The Blushing Elder – to toast all those embarrassed but glittering scholar, teacher elders

Breakfast Eggnog – this is where we appropriate the culture of our anglo and American neighbours

The Bonnet Blaster – a cocktail for the opponents of Menno patriarchy in its many forms

Bubbat Champagne Cocktail – actually only a subset of Mennos will have any fondness for bubbat. This is for them.

Canadian Mennonite – it’s not a patriotic drink but it’s a pretty Canadian one, and pretty Mennonite too

Cause for a Church Schism – it doesn’t take much

The Classic Rum and Artisanal Cola – an ethical version of the classic to ease your conscience and warm your heart

The Congregants’ Quarrel – with flavours that might complement each other, if mixed properly

The Conscientious Objector – a drink that doesn’t glorify the military in WWI in any way whatsoever

The Cosmopolitan – nothing whatsoever Mennonite about this — this is for those who have decided being worldly is A-ok.

Courage and Faith – a drink to help you face the uncomfortable truths about your history and faith

Devil in a Thrift Shop – This is an evil Mennonite drink

The Dirk Willems – a heroic little drink that keeps you wanting to turn back for more

Discerned Wine – mulling’s fine but we prefer to discern

Dutch Apple Spider – adding brandy to anything is an homage to 18th-century Mennonite distillers

The Dutch Blitz – a slammer to honour the card-slamming game of the same name

Er-Booze – if you eat roll-kuchen, you need this cocktail

The Faspa – enjoy with zwiebach and whatever your local version of Mennonite cuisine allows with it

The First Mennonite – because somebody has to be first

Flirting with a Menno – for those of us with commitment issues

The Flying Mennonite – like the aviation but with hymns

Four Part Harmony – four liqueurs coming in one after another as if in a fugue

Frank Epp’s Campaign – a drink to honour Mennonite politicians who didn’t embarrass us

The Freiwillege – to loosen your tongue and open your heart

Frugal Relief – for a Mennonite, there’s never really relief from frugality. But there’s this.

The Gimlet of Good Intentions – something to drink while walking along the road to hell

The Green Stick – A strong drink to remember strong moments of corporal punishment

The Hallelujah Chorus – something to help your throat after all that singing

Eine Kleine Colony – it’s a little bit Kleine Gemeinde and a little bit Old Colony. And a lot of chokecherry

The Last Schputt – Because there comes a time for all of us when we need to stop schputting.

Little Black Dress – A nice drink despite being a poor representation of us as a people

The Long Explanation Iced Tea – to help you get through listening to Mennos discuss what we are or aren’t

Meme Julep – for Mennos who Tweet and the good folk who love them

The Menno Bloc – here’s to imagining if we could all agree to vote together

Menno in Denim – you can feel comfortable drinking this even in your most unfashionable jeans

The MennoGift – a seasonal cocktail to go with the un-gifts and non-gifts under the tree

The Mennonite Mule – a cocktail for Mennonite drug smugglers. And the rest of us.

The Mennonite Princess – a pretty yet humble hard-working girly cocktail

The Mennolittini – you need some of your great aunt’s homemade wine for this, but no one’ll know if you fake it

Mennotech – a drink made to be instagrammed

Mennotoba Sangria – because there’s more to Manitoba than sunflower seeds and kittens

More of the Same – a cocktail that reflects the diversity of the Mennonite Church leadership in Canada

The Nomi Nickel – a drink for fans of Miriam Toews’ A Complicated Kindness, or Mennos straddling childhood and maturity

The Not Giving Up Chocolate for Lent Cocktail – Pull this one out around Easter time, in the days before Easter, or really anytime.

Offred in a Cape Dress – what they’d drink in Margaret Atwood’s Handmaid’s Tale if it were Mennonite

Old Freundschaft – honestly, you can drink this with new freundschaft too

Once upon a Harvest – a little cocktail for farmers and anyone prone to romanticize them

Opa’s Shortwave – a cocktail with the complex flavours of national identity

The Pacifist – an antidote to jingoist patriotism

Pan-abaptist Gargle Blaster – for inter-galactic traveling Mennonite drinkers and their friends

The Paska Sour – for a certain spring fertility festival

Passive Aggression in a Glass – You’re welcome.

The Pastor’s Companion – a cocktail that’s its own sort of pastoral care

The Philpott-ibuster – because every Mennonite MP who quits the federal cabinet deserves their own cocktail

The Peace Shall Destroy Manhattan – a classic cocktail for a classic work of Mennonite literature

The Pets of Faith – get it? It’s like a test of faith but not quite

The Pie Booth – honouring those relief sale pies and all that they represent

The Pink Menno – pink, proud and humble

The Pluma Mimosa – plumemooss, all grown up

Ponche de Crema – more cultural appropriation (Trinidadian this time)

Potluck Antidote – no drink can save you from death by casserole, but this one can cleanse your palette afterwards.

The Privilegium – honouring our negotiated privileges, and Steinbach Church basements

The Quilting Bee – a drink for steady hands and tiny stitches

The Rook Card – a cocktail with status reversal shaken into it

A Rose e’re Blooming – drink this when half-spent is the night

A Safe Cocktail to Love – it’s all about being honest about who you are and what you drink

The Schismatic – yup, let this drink sit for a few minutes and it starts to separate

The Schmauntfat Cocktail – it’s really gravy with booze in it. Just pour it on potatoes and open a bottle of wine.

Schputlaw – for those times we want to flaunt the law, or at least negotiate exemptions

Sexy Little Mennonite – ’cause you look Mennonite with this drink in your hand. And that’s a good thing

The Sheldon Funk – in fear and trembling of Mennonite zombies; and in honour of Corey Redekop’s book

The Shoo-Fly Rye – because we love those Mennonites of Swiss descent who were the first in North America

Sins of Omission – the perfect accompaniment to a guilty conscience

The Snow Herald – This one’s a Menno-nightcap

Strawberry-Rhubarb Daiquiri – a drink that says summer in the Mennolands without requiring a car trip

The SuperMennoMomdom Drink – Q: what are you drinking? A: A SuperMennoMomdom – it’s worth it just for that

Susanna’s Christmas Tree – To honour all the Mennonites who have argued about whether Christmas Trees are ok

The Three Huts – looks like a Pina Colada, tastes like a Mennonite joke

The Trappings of Power – strong enough to scrape away the taste of abuse but bitter enough that you won’t forget

The TV Mennoseries – celebrating the second golden age of trying to decide whether to renounce TV

Twig ‘n Beaky – sing with me now: Noah sent dove to take a peaky peaky, dove came back with twig in beaky, beaky.

The Twisted Log Cabin – because quilts are as Mennonite as rhubarb platz

The Ugly Christmas Cocktail – because you can’t drink a sweater

Unanswered Questions – there will be some.

Villages Squared – Ten Thousand Villages may be shuttering its stores in Canada but the cocktail lives on