If you’re the sort of person who chooses their beverages based on their Mennonite value system, I have you covered. Choose whether you want to drink something inspired by your compulsive need to serve others and be in community, your bred-in-the-bone cheapness frugality, your commitment to nonviolence and improving the world, your really long memory, or your inclination to deal with conflict by forming factions and breaking off from the larger community.

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